Bad Kitty Rap

In my apartment building there's a burden that we share;
It's a small little kitty with long black hair
Who goes scratching and meowing from door to door,
Like, "Let me in! I'm so hungry, I'm so poor."
When I know for a fact, she lives down the street.
She's got a mama and a papa and there's plenty to eat.
She's got a sweet little pad that's bigger than mine.
So why's this kitty scratching on my door all the time?
Singing meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

Chorus : Bad kitty,
Think you're so sad, kitty,
You're just a bad kitty
So too bad, kitty.

I made a huge mistake when I first moved in.
I felt bad for the thing--she was crying to come in.
So I grabbed a can of tuna and I gave it to the cat
As my neighbor walked by. She said, "You shouldn't do that."
Well, apparently Kitty's got quite the reputation,
A smooth little act that’s just plain manipulation.
When you first move in, that's when she'll attack,
And if you give in once, she'll keep coming back.
Singing meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

Chorus

Well, when I got home tonight, there was a sign on the door.
It said, "Please don't let your cats roam the halls anymore."
I was like, “How can that landlord blame me for this?
That stinking bag of fur ain't none of my business.”
Then I turn around and the cat was there,
Almost like she appeared right out of thin air.
I yelled, "Go away!  You're not my cat! 
You don't live here, and don't look at me like that!"
Meow, meow, meow,
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

Chorus

When she came to the door tonight, I said, "Listen, dear,
Tell your alley cat friends that the buck stops here.
Take your freeloading furry butt out of my place.
I don't want to see you fuzzy little face.
Tonight me and roomie are making some chicken
And there ain't no way you're getting in this kitchen.
And by the way I should probably mention
We're gonna move to the West End." [Chorus in background]

[Voice over] All right, I lied about the chicken, but you get the point.

Chorus